Don’t test your child!

The following article was published in THE TIMES OF INDIA, Hyderabad edition on 21 Feb 2010 Sun

Don’t let your child hit the panic button when exams arrive, says Norbert Rego

SEVEN years ago, Mahesh Podar’s 16-year-old daughter scored 82 per cent in the SSC Board exam, with 92 per cent in science and 65 per cent in languages. Despite this, she couldn’t get admission to the college of her choice, which led her to end her life.

Podar believes, “The exam system should be overhauled. Also, parents should not put pressure on children over studies. Sometimes, it’s very difficult to gauge the level of depression that children go through. Hence, they should be taught about mental health.” Today, Podar visits various schools in Mumbai to bring about awareness among children.
Four years ago, Anthony Furtado lost his 17-year-old son to depression during the class 12 exam. He advises parents, “As exams approach, children should be told not to worry or panic, get stressed or depressed.” Furtado shares his experience with friends and strangers. He tells children, “Failure is always a stepping stone for success. Life is short and precious, live it. Life is beautiful, enjoy it.”
Rima Nayak was in class 9 and tense about her exams. Her parents recall, “She found Maths difficult and the school threatened to fail her. One day, she took an overdose of drugs. In her suicide note, she said she hated school.” They are still in a state of shock, despite the incident happening three years ago.
The common thread that runs through these cases is a poor understanding of a person’s strong points. Biologically, a child’s brain is divided into the left and right brain.
Explains Dr Jitender Nagpal, psychiatrist, Vimhans Hospital, New Delhi, “The left brain develops analytical functions and contributes to numerico-mathematical functions with speech, language as also the primary functions. However, a collaborative partnership of the left and right brain is needed for holistic development.” Sharmistha Mukherjee, Kolkata-based clinical psychologist, maintains, “Right brain is responsible for visual and processes information in an intuitive and simultaneous way, looking first at the whole picture, then the details.” Dr R Manoj, Chennai-based clinical psychologist, says, “Experiments have shown that most
children rank high in terms of creativity (right brain) before entering school. The limitations on the functions of right hemisphere comes from our academic approach which give excessive importance to mathematics, logic and language based on memorised information. Because of this, only 10 per cent of these children will rank ‘highly creative’ by age seven and it reduces to only two per cent of the population by the time they are adults.”
Psychiatrists say left brain-dominant people take up professions like medicine, accountancy, engineering and law, while right brain-dominant one often pursue a career in the arts — painting, dance, music and sports. Parents should understand this ‘brain game’ and let their children explore their inherent talent.
Tips to parents
Talk less and smile more. Hug your kid a little longer and a little stronger in distress. Share your feelings with kids, encouraging them to do the same. Encourage laughter in the family. Discuss studies with them and discuss movies and fun too. Help them recall positive memories. When they are excessively quiet, irritable, have low or increased appetite, talk about death or dying, rush them to a counsellor and not to an astrologer. Parents should sleep enough and eat on time.
(Inputs from Dr Harish Shetty, psychiatrist,
Dr L H Hiranandani Hospital, Mumbai)
Tips to children
Study as much as you can. Scan what you know well and read what you are not sure about. Sleep for eight hours and eat well on time. Play for half an hour, it helps memory and confidence. View exams like a party, and answer the best question first. After a paper, do not do a post-mortem. Share your tears and fears with your best teacher, family members or a counsellor. Play happy sentences in your internal iPod (brain) all the time. When down, sad or scared, recall the time when you were at your best and play the memory completely.
(Inputs from Shalet Fernandes,
Mumbai-based clinical psychologist) norbert.rego@timesgroup.com